June 12, 2007

• I'm feeling so lonely and out in left field lately.  I try to post on message boards and participate in IRL functions but feel like there is a sheet of plexi-glass between me and other people.  And when I hear what other people say about me to other people it just reminds me of how much I wish I were 'normal' like other people.  I get really tired and depressed because of getting called wierd all the time.  This morning my daughter was telling me that her boyfriend's Mom doesn't like me because I'm 'wierd'.  She also said she doesn't like Irish people either, so she's no prize either but again, it just highlights the fact that all I've ever wanted is to be accepted in a circle of friends.  It reminds me of how I hate having to make new friends and develop new relationships.  It takes forever for people to get to know me, and I know once they do, they say how creative and nice I am.  But that upfront and first blow of being called wierd never stops stinging.  Will I ever stop feeling the pain?

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

   

  • 9:52 am
  • 4 Comments